by Anissa Deol
“So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.”
-Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I remember finishing this book my sophomore year of high school. Each quote, whatever quote it was from the book, rang through my ears even after I closed the it and placed it back onto the shelf. Everyone in life is always going through something, and to be frank, not everyone knows who they are or what they are striving to be.
This quote rings true because of how authentically it describes the notions of being uncertain. Of being vulnerable. Of being human. We don’t get to choose what family we come from, or where we originally came from, but we can move forward.
I think people, once they seem lost or stay lost, they can’t seem to move forward from whatever is stopping them. They try to figure out what maybe went wrong before, or how they could have changed something that could’ve changed something about the now. It consists of regret, guilt, sadness, loneliness and more, and all of those lead to the uncertainty of the now. However, it is the mentality of the human response, of the human form.
People deal with all these feelings in various ways, and it’s how we cope and move forward from the past mistakes or past uncertainties. Holding onto the things, the numbers, the scientific calculations that could’ve changed that one moment, only makes our mind foggy and out of touch with our present selves.
To cope and remind yourself to always take that extra step if you are dealing with something on that day, can consist of: journaling, speaking to someone else, seeking out professional help or therapy, reading, participating in a hobby or action that brings you joy, and telling yourself that every day is calling for more opportunities.
1) Journaling:
Journaling can consist of multiple interpretations because no everyone is the same.
There are:
· Dream journals/Goal journals – writing down the dreams right after you wake up from them, or just future aspirations you hope to aspire for.
· Inspiration journals – In these journals, you can keep pictures that bring you inspiration for basically anything. It can consist of mood boards that are collages of various pictures, or drawings you are really proud of. You can also write inspiring moments you have felt or experienced, so you can go back and re-read those to have the feeling documented.
· Gratefulness journals – This is keeping a list of everything that makes you grateful for this life. Whether it be that great home-cooked meal you had last year, or from the person that took time out of their day to talk to you.
· Meditation journals – Personally, I have never tried this, but people have said it keeps track of your meditation or just to talk about how it felt in each experience you had with meditation.
· Quote/Everyday journal – This journal is pretty self-explanatory, but this one is for you to put any quote you have fallen in love with from a book, movie, person, or something you saw in the store the other day. You can mix it with your everyday journaling or separate it.
2) Speaking to someone else:
If you need someone to talk to, I would recommend taking a walk and calling one of your close friends of family members. It takes your mind off of the negative and uncertain thoughts you may have and point you towards what the day has to offer. If no one is available to talk to you at that moment, occupy your mind with a current show or go grab a bite to eat so you have a certain goal in mind.
3) Participating in hobbies or actions that bring you joy:
So specifically, for me, I don’t like the bare walls of the dorm rooms. When I walked in on move in day, I basically thought, “Oh no, these walls definitely have to be fully covered.” So of course, I invested in posters and prints and as of now my wall is almost half covered. I ran out of time to hang out my pictures up, but I realized something halfway through the semester. If I feel like the dorm is a little ‘bleh’ or bleak I will add more pictures in that moment. As I’m doing that, I’ll play some of my favorite music or watch a tv show and immerse myself in things that I want to do.
Telling yourself that each day holds a new, bright opportunity, that will make the day a whole lot better. You won’t be doubting yourself in that moment, and hopefully as you continually tell yourself that, it will become something similar to a ritual. Even if the feeling is ‘eh’ or ‘okay’ to you, it’s still something, and that something you can slowly work with. Answers won’t come in the blink of an eye, I’m sorry but you can’t perform miracles, you can only do so much.
However, you can participate in the good and the things that make you feel good about yourself. Then, hopefully, we can start out as ‘just fine’ or ‘ok’ and work our way up as we move forward and take more steps as each day goes by.
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